The moment you realize your beauty from within, no one can tell you anything.

Now this post isn’t meant to offend anyone, and it’s not even an opinion pieces written here, this is experience. Yes you eyesight is not fooling you, I am going there, and not in an angry way, not even emotionally, but this does strike a chord in an immense way. It’s not to put blame on the past, or anyone necessarily, but the past is the past, and history always has a way of sneaking up to some, becoming quite repetitive as it’s proven that history always repeats itself. What I am about to write is completely factual and straight to the point.  If you don’t like what I have addressed in regards to how beauty standards have affected black women in different ways, then you can stop reading at this point.

Over the years we’ve seen a positive turn around on inclusivity, it wouldn’t be fair to not point this out, with many breakthroughs in the makeup industry, and YouTubers like Jackie Aina being the voice for many black women while relating to all women that struggle to be ‘beautiful’, but there is always room for improvement. Outward beauty has always been what needed to be defined for little black girls from the time that they straighten their hair with a relaxer to not seeing a healthy representation within the media, but there is so many other detrimental standards that really do cripple us without even realizing it.

Representation matters.

Here’s a list of beauty standards that are crippling black women.

Skin Bleaching

Even though the topic of bleaching your skin may be controversial, it’s a normal everyday regimen for both women and men of colour, not just black people. From countries like the Philippines, China, The Caribbean, numerous countries in Africa, and in India where skin bleaching is a billion dollar profit there, it’s concerning when skin bleaching is considered something beautiful or a beauty routine. Having brown skin speaks the history and the present, it is something beautiful and a standout, not one to tarnish, plus there are many health risks that can occur when using such lotion. The one health risk to take into consideration is that the melanin in your skin will be ripped away, therefore making your skin thin, and you can easily get a sunburn creating irritation.

The Need For Hair

Now this one is debatable. I love wearing hair extensions, especially when I had hair! For me this was all an accessory, as I was not attached to it, I could wear extensions one day, then wear a wig the next, and be perfectly fine with wearing my natural tresses, almost like I was four different people at once. Weaves were never my thing, but I always appreciated a women that could rock the hell out of one without me even knowing that they did. But the problem that I have is the expectation behind wearing long hair, regardless if it’s your own hair or bought. The pressure of black women wearing hair that either does not resemble they own or even the length of hair that is expressed from anyone is quite crippling to the self esteem, especially when wearing shorter hairstyles. Hair is a big thing in the black community, we as women help the hair industry’s profit as we are the biggest consumers for anything dealing with hair, from the haircare products, to extensions and the list goes on, but at times forget to love the hair that naturally grows on our scalp. You see when I see the word nappy, I am not offended, I turn this into a positive word, as our hair is truly unique, it is a crown, a badge of honour and something to embrace. I won’t say that this is our crowning glory because I have no hair, and I still have an invisible crown. That’s just it, confidence is key whether you have hair or not. Just do you. Plus I want to see more commercials when black women are rocking their natural hair, I know it’s a bit much with asking to see a bald women, but down the road you never know.

Dolls

Growing up, I didn’t see a lot of representation with dolls, yes there was Christie, but she was the token black girl doll and Barbie’s sidekick. Spice Girls had released their collection of dolls and I of course wanted Scary Spice, along with Sporty and Baby Spice, but that was just it and when there were black dolls, they didn’t look right in all honesty, they didn’t look black. I will point out that I am now seeing an array of beautiful black dolls in all shades, shapes and amazing hairstyles, I do wished to see this as a kid, but glad to see this now.

Being Too Thick or Too Skinny

This right here is for all women in general, just more emphasized for black women. You’re either too skinny, too fat, not tall enough, or too short, your ass is either too big, not big enough, there’s just no winning at times.  As long as you’re healthy, your body does not belong to anyone else… your body, your choice.

Makeup

Have you ever had to mix foundations just because the shade was a bit off from the drugstore? Did that sales person recommend the shade that was all too dark or too light for your skin tone? Was there a time when someone just blatantly stating that black women don’t look good in a particular colour without you wearing that colour? Have you ever gotten the sense that your beauty wasn’t highlighted properly by certain makeup lines? These questions are all precise. It’s happened. No shocker right here. Again, I like where most makeup brands are going, creating inclusivity and realizing that black women, or brown women do matter, our opinions matter, our beauty matters and we are important and appealing customers within the beauty industry. Plus there have been many that have pioneered the aspect of creating makeup for all women long before Fenty Beauty came out, Rihanna just set the tone, creating the explosion of that awareness.

You see we need more of these tough, awkward,  somewhat controversial topics in order to find the middle ground of understanding. In order to grow, get ahead and improve we need to look at the past, the present and the nitty-gritty, creating a future that does not separate, but includes all, just through the basis of understanding. And when I say black is beautiful, I am not putting anyone else down or pitting someone against another, I am just pointing out a fact, that has been ignored, looked over or ignored due to the ugliness of history. When you become aware of who you are, without the frills, you become that voice for many and I am always hopeful.

We need to be.