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Why I’m Publishing a Chapbook

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I thought to myself that if I was to publish a book full of poems that it would be best to publish a chapbook. What’s a chapbook? A chapbook, which has been produced for hundreds of years, is a shorter book comprising only 50 pages or fewer. Many poets publish their first books, being chapbooks to display their work. 

The other reasons I decided to publish a chapbook are:

It’s Less Costly

Since there are only a certain amount of pages… the way I see chapbooks is that it’s the same way a mixtape is of music to albums. There’s a small amount of time towards publishing a chapbook versus publishing a full-blown book, so to speak.

I Wanted to Dip My Foot in The Waters First

I didn’t want to go full in when publishing an actual full-fledged book, for me I wanted to see what the process was, get an idea how a book is published, plus I had to take into consideration the cover page, spine, and back cover which are all important factors, and trust me I’ve learned a lot with the process. I had no clue what bleeding is on a page or what exactly a spine was, so it was an eye opener. So when I’m ready to publish a full-fledged book of poems, then I’m ready.

Quicker Results

With less amount of writing to do means less time to write the manuscript. I know some people may look down on that, but what I mean by this is basically what I’ve stated earlier, I wanted to dip my foot first, see what the process is of how publishing a book works and then work on any improvements that are needed when publishing a book that needs more time at hand.

It’s Suitable For Self-Publishing

Even though I still think that it’s vital to find a publisher, self-publishing for me was the best decision I’ve made, and I’ll continue to go this route. Here, I can afford to put a little of money into this because it’s a cheaper route to go. For me, it makes no sense to find a publisher for them to put in all the work, get no royalties just to conduct a 40 page chapbook, it just makes no sense. Plus, there’s more creative freedom, which I’ll explain further on the reasons I went into the direction of self-publishing.

Why I Named My Book ‘The Lover’s Pool’

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Do you notice that the word lover is not plural and more so singular? 

This is because it’s not about two people, it’s about oneself and how one is managing through life while finding themselves and loving themselves.

The pool reflects anxiety and how to cope with it while keeping your head above water. The theme will be ethereal, something magical, something special, all while one realizes that these are temporary floods at hand. 

There’s Math In Publishing a Book

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Let me explain:

I never knew the importance of the measurements of a book until now. There’s so many intricate details when coming with not only the order of pages, but the measurements of the front and back cover, the book spine, and my poems being placed correctly.

What is a book spine?

So with my research in many articles on Google, a book spine is the outside edge of a book that you’d see at a library or bookstore — that usually carries the title of the book. The spine allows the book to open and close, and measures the number of pages there are and the sizing of the front and back cover. This is one of the most important factor when putting together your book.

PDF vs. Word

Since Amazon is my main publishing site, pdf is my best friend! When know how to process everything and exporting it from word to pdf… that’s when magic happens. For me I have a MacBook Air, therefore the Microsoft word is not compatible with the software. In November, when I was putting things into place with my poems, I was going back and forth with my phone, editing and converting my work back and forth. My android supports Microsoft, which was easier to upload everything on Amazon KDP as opposed to my laptop. But then I discovered Google Docs, and that makes a ton of difference, making my life easier and stress free.

Kindle Was Another Challenge

Not only will I be selling my book as Paperback, but also through Kindle. I thought that uploading everything through Kindle word would be easier then publishing a physical book, but I was wrong. All of my poems kept cramming together, looking like some amateur work, even though I am new to the self-publishing world. I still want my work to be clean and concise. Then I discovered Kindle Create. You can download it on your phone or computer. Just make sure you’re on the legit app.

Each day as I’m processing my work, I’m learning something new. It’s been 5 months of waiting… with twists and turns around the corner. I did state that the finishing touch would be to have a great book cover, and that this would be the last project of my work. One thing that I’ve learned from that was that I had to do things on my own terms… not depending on anyone else. I’ve had a great network of people giving good advice, but when coming to finding an artist… that’s been tough. But there are things are progressing closer and closer. 

The finishing touches are near.

I’m Back!

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I know that it’s been quite some time since I’ve last posted a story….as a matter of fact it’s been over three years just before the lockdown.

Besides COVID, there’s been so many changes for me, some for the good and some that were life threatening. I plan on sharing my experience with this particular period in my life because while we were all trying to get by with COVID, I had quite the scare myself…and it wasn’t related to the virus.

In all honesty I’ve been trying to find a way to come back to the blogging world, but I just didn’t know how I’d go about my first post in what seems to be so long ago.

As posted before in the past, writing is my first love, it’s more than a hobby. I truly believe that if you’re someone that writes on the side…either by getting income or not…you’re a writer. I will continue to go within the depths of just that.

There’s been a lot of soul searching for me. Entering into my thirties have been thrilling to say the least, but the ongoing experiences have been lessons for me to endure.

It’s scared to jump back in when there’s no direction as to where to start. But isn’t that what life’s supposed to be about?

I’m ready for whatever.

Trinidad: Family, Music, Life and Culture in My Words

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As someone who was born in Canada to Caribbean parents, the household had a lot of interesting, strict and eclectic values.

 

You see Trinidad is a small island, and a small population, just over a million people with big dreams, and hope for a brighter future. Both of my parents come from the island known for one of the biggest carnivals in the world, the food, the rum, scorching weather, the diversity, the friendly people…a Trini, that is short for Trinidadian, or TrinBagonian for Trinidad and Tobago, and of course the adorable sing song accent.

 

The culture at times is an island of partying and celebration.

Long story short, the whole idea of carnival was to celebrate the emancipation of slavery in Trinidad and Tobago. For such a petite island, the immense impact is stamped in history. The steel pan is an instrument birthed by Trinidad deriving from West African roots long passed over to music genres from Calypso, Soca, Dancehall and Jazz music. Janelle Commissiong was the first ever black women to be crowned Miss Universe in 1977. There are a few female rapper of Trini descent; Nicki Minaj immigrated to the U.S. at five being born in Trinidad. Cardi B’s mother is a Trini so you know we will claim her as a Trini. Actor Winston Duke of Black Panther and last year’s horror flick Us originates from Tobago. Actors Nia Long, Alfonso Ribeiro (aka Carlton) and Tatyana Ali of Fresh Prince of Bell Air both have Trini roots. I read somewhere that Will Smith loves traveling to Trinidad. Coincidence?

 

Now that you got a little backstory on the big impact the Trinidad and Tobago has created, this coincides with a part of how I was raised.

 

Here is a  list of how I was raised from my Trini parents:

 

  1. Family always comes first
  2. Music is a must in a household
  3. Perseverance and resiliency will help you go far in this life.
  4. Thing or ‘Ting’ meant pretty much anything and you of course either understood what it meant or had to understand the meaning.
  5. Nah of nuh basically is directed to you. For example: “Go get the groceries in the car nuh.”
  6. You will learn how to eat spicy food and realize that this really is flaming hot sauce; you will cough at first but as someone of Trini descent… you will get used to it. You will get bragging Trini rights if you can handle the sauce.
  7. Callaloo is the best dish created on earth in my humble opinion, doubles is right behind and of course macaroni pie along with roti (a pita like dish with any filling like curried chicken, chickpeas and beef).
  8. We always persevere.
  9. Creativity is everything.
  10. Always having a positive outlook on life.

 

 

Whether you know about this country or not, as a first generation Canadian born to immigrants originating from Trinidad, and despite the growing violence occurring there, it always fills a big stamp in the way that I grew up. Wherever I travel a Trini is there with pride behind that word. There is strength behind the flag with colours consisting of red, white and black with a song or two playing in the background, steel pan following the tune and macaroni pie being baked.

 

This is what helped to mould me.

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The Wonders of Walking

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Sometimes the simplest actions equate into something bigger, better and beneficial in the long run.

When you are stuck in a rut, your mind needs to be cleared, or you are lost in a train of thought due to a creative block, walk. It is the simplest yet effective moderate exercise that some take advantage of due to the fact that we as human beings walk everyday… some more than others. Ever since we past the stages of the caveman era, walking before riding a horse, driving or any sort of mobile transportation has been a vital act of human kind.

Numerous researches have proven the importance of including at least 30 minutes of walking each day. Walking does wonders to your body, mind and spirit.

For the body: walking creates stronger bones along with improved balance, and of course there is that reduction of body fat when you implement walking on a daily basis. The prevention of heart disease along with strokes are benefited when conducting such a moderate activity; combined with the lowering of high cholesterol and joint muscular pain

For the mind: if you continue to make it a habit of walking daily, your mood will improve as endorphins are released especially from a brisk walk which is a faster pace. It keeps the creative juices flowing. Have you ever just wanted to be inspired again because you were looking to make a dress, paint that wall or write that story but could not find that spark? Walk! Plus walking in nature sparks that needed creativity. Another interesting benefit is that depression and anxiety is reduced by up to 30 percent just by walking. The endorphins are released along with a sense of accomplishment as you feel like you got something done and that is exactly the case… you did. With the mind being such a terrible thing to waste, well your memory will be better and improved when you conduct this exercise.

For the spirit: like any activity, walking heals. Clearing your mind off of any sort of tension that stresses you completely out, the simple act of walking is a meditative factor. When you feel good about yourself, you look good, there is a glow, and when you are glowing that is a contagious act spread onto others. Positivity attracts positivity.

When they stated that the best things in life are free, walking was one of them. So keep walking… you never know where your feet will take you.

 

Some of My Favourite Fenty Beauty Products

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So if you know me well enough, it’s pretty evident that I’m obsessed with Rihanna’s ever so popular makeup line, everything just works so well. The prices may be a bit pricey for some consumers, and just right for others, but I do guarantee that these products are completely worth it. You can really tell that Miss Fenty herself took the time and dedication to get the products efficient and well done. If you follow her on social media, you can observe that before the launch of the beauty line in the fall of 2017, that Bad Gal Riri herself was wearing some of the products to test them out (for example the Stunna Red Lip paint) before customers wearing them. And as this icon couldn’t be just a legend in music, this line has made her the richest female musician.

My favourite quote that I’ve heard from someone in person couldn’t be more factual:

In Rihanna we trust.

Here are some of my favourite products from this line. All of the products are hyperlinked so you can click and buy them on the website.

1. Pro FILT’R Soft Matte Long wear Foundation ($45.00)

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What really grabbed me into Sephora to buy from this brand was the most talked about foundation from Fenty Beauty. Even though in the past, there are makeup lines that include all women, especially with brown skin, including the deeper tones, Fenty Beauty resurrected this topic in which some makeup brands do ignore. Having 40 shades is creating a new normal for all women to feel included when coming to finding the right foundation. I had to wait three weeks, both online and in person, to finally purchase the Pro Filt’r Soft Matte foundation as the tan and deep tones were sold out. Talk about setting a tone for other makeup brands (pun intended). I use the shade in 370 which is labeled as for tan skin tones with warm and neutral undertones.

 

2. Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer ($24.00)

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Before wearing this lip gloss, it had been at least 10 years since I’d worn any sort of lip gloss as I graduated to wearing lipstick. What I love the most about this product is it leaves your lips soft and moisturized while keeping those lips glossy.

 

 

 

3. Stunna Lip Paint Collection ($32.00)

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Don’t you just want a lipstick to remain on all throughout the day. Stunna lip paint will do just that. Yes, it is a matte lipstick, but this does not dry out your lips and the colours are stunning to say the least. You can tell that there was not only a lot of care, dedication and perfection when conducting this product in particular, but also some fun induced with colours along with the names attached to some of them. My favourite colours are Unlocked: the vibrant pink shade, Undefeated: a sultry purple shade (and also a similar colour to an eggplant), Unattached: a bright coral shade, Unveil: a chocolate brown colour and my favourite on days when I feel like being more natural, and last but not least and certainly my favourite shade due to it being red, my favourite colour, along with the versatility since this shade is supposed to be flattering for women of any skin tone, Uncensored is a standout colour for all of the right reasons. The visual of this lip paint resembles a shape similar to nail polish and it’s so pretty to look at, like art waiting to be displayed and used. They call it the universal red, and it truly is a stunna if I may say so myself.

 

 

4.  Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick ($24.00)

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This I will admit is the only colour that I have from this lip line because the colour really stood out for me. I can’t rave anymore on the name of this deep, navy blue shade call Clapback. Who doesn’t like a good clapback? It is a contrast from the usual lipstick colours and the complete opposite of what’s known as a basic girl/bitch (just saying). If you’re in the mood for avant-garde makeup, Clapback is up your alley.

 

5. Killawatte Freestyle Highlighter ($48.00)

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Highlighters on a whole is quite versatile. You can use it as a blush, an eye shadow, or combine it with your lipstick to add some glamour. Killawatte does not disappoint.  Yes this highlighter in particular is quite pricey, but this is worth every penny as there is a colour for everyone. My favourite colours, as there are mostly two in one, is the Ginger Binge/Moscow Mule. It gives that extra lift that your skin needs. Your skin will thank for this.

 

 

 

Beauty Standards That Are Crippling Black Women

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The moment you realize your beauty from within, no one can tell you anything.

Now this post isn’t meant to offend anyone, and it’s not even an opinion pieces written here, this is experience. Yes you eyesight is not fooling you, I am going there, and not in an angry way, not even emotionally, but this does strike a chord in an immense way. It’s not to put blame on the past, or anyone necessarily, but the past is the past, and history always has a way of sneaking up to some, becoming quite repetitive as it’s proven that history always repeats itself. What I am about to write is completely factual and straight to the point.  If you don’t like what I have addressed in regards to how beauty standards have affected black women in different ways, then you can stop reading at this point.

Over the years we’ve seen a positive turn around on inclusivity, it wouldn’t be fair to not point this out, with many breakthroughs in the makeup industry, and YouTubers like Jackie Aina being the voice for many black women while relating to all women that struggle to be ‘beautiful’, but there is always room for improvement. Outward beauty has always been what needed to be defined for little black girls from the time that they straighten their hair with a relaxer to not seeing a healthy representation within the media, but there is so many other detrimental standards that really do cripple us without even realizing it.

Representation matters.

Here’s a list of beauty standards that are crippling black women.

Skin Bleaching

Even though the topic of bleaching your skin may be controversial, it’s a normal everyday regimen for both women and men of colour, not just black people. From countries like the Philippines, China, The Caribbean, numerous countries in Africa, and in India where skin bleaching is a billion dollar profit there, it’s concerning when skin bleaching is considered something beautiful or a beauty routine. Having brown skin speaks the history and the present, it is something beautiful and a standout, not one to tarnish, plus there are many health risks that can occur when using such lotion. The one health risk to take into consideration is that the melanin in your skin will be ripped away, therefore making your skin thin, and you can easily get a sunburn creating irritation.

The Need For Hair

Now this one is debatable. I love wearing hair extensions, especially when I had hair! For me this was all an accessory, as I was not attached to it, I could wear extensions one day, then wear a wig the next, and be perfectly fine with wearing my natural tresses, almost like I was four different people at once. Weaves were never my thing, but I always appreciated a women that could rock the hell out of one without me even knowing that they did. But the problem that I have is the expectation behind wearing long hair, regardless if it’s your own hair or bought. The pressure of black women wearing hair that either does not resemble they own or even the length of hair that is expressed from anyone is quite crippling to the self esteem, especially when wearing shorter hairstyles. Hair is a big thing in the black community, we as women help the hair industry’s profit as we are the biggest consumers for anything dealing with hair, from the haircare products, to extensions and the list goes on, but at times forget to love the hair that naturally grows on our scalp. You see when I see the word nappy, I am not offended, I turn this into a positive word, as our hair is truly unique, it is a crown, a badge of honour and something to embrace. I won’t say that this is our crowning glory because I have no hair, and I still have an invisible crown. That’s just it, confidence is key whether you have hair or not. Just do you. Plus I want to see more commercials when black women are rocking their natural hair, I know it’s a bit much with asking to see a bald women, but down the road you never know.

 

Dolls

Growing up, I didn’t see a lot of representation with dolls, yes there was Christie, but she was the token black girl doll and Barbie’s sidekick. Spice Girls had released their collection of dolls and I of course wanted Scary Spice, along with Sporty and Baby Spice, but that was just it and when there were black dolls, they didn’t look right in all honesty, they didn’t look black. I will point out that I am now seeing an array of beautiful black dolls in all shades, shapes and amazing hairstyles, I do wished to see this as a kid, but glad to see this now.

 

Being Too Thick or Too Skinny

This right here is for all women in general, just more emphasized for black women. You’re either too skinny, too fat, not tall enough, or too short, your ass is either too big, not big enough, there’s just no winning at times.  As long as you’re healthy, your body does not belong to anyone else… your body, your choice.

 

Makeup

Have you ever had to mix foundations just because the shade was a bit off from the drugstore? Did that sales person recommend the shade that was all too dark or too light for your skin tone? Was there a time when someone just blatantly stating that black women don’t look good in a particular colour without you wearing that colour? Have you ever gotten the sense that your beauty wasn’t highlighted properly by certain makeup lines? These questions are all precise. It’s happened. No shocker right here. Again, I like where most makeup brands are going, creating inclusivity and realizing that black women, or brown women do matter, our opinions matter, our beauty matters and we are important and appealing customers within the beauty industry. Plus there have been many that have pioneered the aspect of creating makeup for all women long before Fenty Beauty came out, Rihanna just set the tone, creating the explosion of that awareness.

You see we need more of these tough, awkward,  somewhat controversial topics in order to find the middle ground of understanding. In order to grow, get ahead and improve we need to look at the past, the present and the nitty-gritty, creating a future that does not separate, but includes all, just through the basis of understanding. And when I say black is beautiful, I am not putting anyone else down or pitting someone against another, I am just pointing out a fact, that has been ignored, looked over or ignored due to the ugliness of history. When you become aware of who you are, without the frills, you become that voice for many and I am always hopeful.

We need to be.

The Power of Introversion

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It boggles my mind how a lot of people cannot spend their time alone. Almost as though they don’t like their own company, paranoid that some creep is lurking at their door, or just can’t stand not having any noise so keeping the t.v. on will mend that void. This is sort of looked upon as a weird or eccentric concept. Who would do such a thing?

Well I am predominantly an introvert. I say that with the fact that yes, even though I like socializing, talking with anyone, my ‘me time’ is what helps to recharge my energy along with taking that necessary break from people in general and just secluding myself in solitude.

A lot of people will not admit to their introversion because having a predominant ( I say this word often because our personalities are not always one thing or another) extroverted personality is at times more favoured as opposed to being introverted. For whatever reason, this is seen as being the more strong-willed than the latter, but this is not always the case. When I say or type this next point, this is in no way throwing any shade to people who are more so gregarious, but the saying: all that bark and no bite, does tie into the fact that the louder counterparts are not always the strongest. Plus there is such a thing called quiet confidence which is something you really can’t fake.

With that being said, I believe in a thing called give and take, introverts can learn from extroverts, and the loud and boisterous can learn a thing or two from a quiet and more bashful individual.

1. Having The Time To Think

Talking is great, it’s basis of human communication. However just taking 20 minutes a week in deep thought is a great way to just… think. Now a lot may say that this is counterintuitive because we are conditioned to just do things without at times thinking twice. But just imagine thinking more often, this is in fact meditative and you’ll be doing more good than bad. Plus your intuition will become more stronger; we all have this aspect that we ignore, but your intuition can at times make more sense then just logic.

 

2. Sparks Creativity

My favourite hobby, aside from writing which is a very introverted craft to do, is jogging. With me, jogging is that ‘me time’ that I was stating earlier on. When I am mad, I jog, when I am happy, the running shoes are on and I am out the door. When I need to clear my mind just because, there I go again, tying up those shoe laces, wearing my sunglass, blasting that music and there I go… jogging… by myself. I can’t tell you how may stories, articles or scripts, changing my hair just as much as I change my clothes, have been sparked by my daily runs, but this introverting is the basis of my creative flow as I call it. All of a sudden, me getting deep into my thoughts, an idea arises and I have to put it on paper or make that concept come to life.

 

3. It’s Healing

It’s healing because you are facing the music of pretty much what makes you tick, what makes you happy, pissed, what or who inspires you, the things that made you the person that you are today and even how you were raised. When you discover all of this, that’s when the healing process begins.

 

4. You Listen More

Remember the concept about thinking before reacting? When you listen more than talk it creates a better dialogue all around. Sometimes not saying a thing and just listening to someone whether they are discussing a problem that you even know that you can’t fix, listening is all that is needed.

 

5. There is Success

I won’t elaborate on this because success is varied. There is no one way on how to define it, not one thing. And if you’ve been reading this far, you will have seen the facts that I have already listed here that’s equated to the aspect of being successful in this life.

6. Gain Independence

I don’t think this part is overlooked, but it’s forgotten. As though quiet people are lost puppies. We feed off of having that time to ourselves. Being independent requires that time for yourself. This is healthy, much more than codependency which is the opposite of independence.  You don’t want to depend on anyone for anything especially your happiness. Only you can make yourself happy. Being independent creates that happiness while creating positive vibes with others.

 

7. You Are Self Aware

This point ties into becoming healed. Don’t we all want to be truly self aware? I am not talking about changing your hair, shaving it (which is pretty brave to say the least as a women but that should change), getting a tattoo, or even any other external changes. Becoming self aware is a daily chore but it’s a rewarding one. This goes with what makes you truly tick. Can you accept your anger? We all have that in us, and yes there is always a healthy way to deal with anger, but that’s just it, sometimes we suppress that part of us in at times unhealthy ways. For me self awareness is that I know what gets me mad, I know brings me joy, I am aware of what I need in my life at this moment, and the type of people I can live without. At days I am not at my best and that is perfectly fine because I am only human. There is more for me to learn, there always is as you don’t stop learning after graduating from school, getting that promotion, getting older or other events that occur in life.  Becoming self aware humbles you, knowing that life itself is unpredictable, you will never be at the same point in a chapter that at times needs the closure.

You are never exactly the same person you were 10 years ago, I hope not either, that’s what growth is all about.

And as you finish reading this, I am just finishing up this article while I have my earphones plugged in, it’s a cozy evening in, drinking my wine, with a scent of cinnamon soaring in the dining room, and I am articulating all of my thoughts without even talking, just pure introversion right here… peace and quiet.

 

How To Care For Your Bald Head

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You may think that shaving all of your hair and rocking a bald style is easy to maintain, yes you are partially correct.

With that being said, many often mistaken this for no longer cleaning the scalp. Not true at all. To put things in perspective, let’s say that you are someone who never wears makeup, this will cut down on using any sort of makeup remover on your face, but you still need to wash your face. Why? Because when you are particularly outside, at work, or anywhere that exposes you to pollution to the air, you need to cleanse you face on a daily basis. Washing your scalp is a similar concept. Plus majority of us have dandruff, we workout so therefore we sweat which then equates the purpose of cleaning dirt from you bald head.  This is part of taking care of your style. Here are some ways to take care your baldness.

 

1. Moisturize, Moisturize, Moisturize

The benefits of being a bald chick are endless, but moisturizing your scalp will be a beneficial factor in the long run. This avoids razor bumps, possible ingrown hair, and just the smoothness of your scalp. People will want to rub it whether you like it or not (unfortunately).   Any moisturizer will do, you don’t need a specific product, just one that works.

 

2. Sunscreen for Those Summer Days

With the top of your head being bare skinned, it is being exposed to the harmful UV rays that the sun emits. We all know what this may lead to if the SPF is not on all parts of your skin. So please do not forget the scalp area!

3. Wash the scalp

I did explain the importance of this, plus you will feel better afterwards.

 

4. Schedule Your Cuts on a Regular Basis

Of course as a baldie, you want to maintain your look. Whether you own a pair of clippers, or prefer to see a barber cut your hair, scheduling your haircuts on routinely basis will  aid in maintaining your style. If you are one who uses razors, shaving cream will be the best option.

 

—So get to snipping!