Trinidad: Family, Music, Life and Culture

February 10, 2020February 4, 20254 Comments

As someone who was born in Canada to Caribbean parents, the household had a lot of interesting, strict, and eclectic values.

You see Trinidad is a small island, and a small population, just over a million people with big dreams, and hope for a brighter future. Both of my parents come from the island known for one of the biggest carnivals in the world, the food, the rum, scorching weather, the diversity, the friendly people…a Trini, that is short for Trinidadian, or Trinbagonian for Trinidad and Tobago, and of course the adorable sing song accent.

The culture at times is an island of partying and celebration.

Long story short, the whole idea of carnival was to celebrate the emancipation of slavery in Trinidad and Tobago. For such a petite island, the immense impact is stamped in history. The steel pan is an instrument birthed by Trinidad deriving from West African roots long passed over to music genres from Calypso, Soca, Dancehall and Jazz music. Janelle Commissiong was the first ever black women to be crowned Miss Universe in 1977. There are a few female rappers of Trini descent; Nicki Minaj immigrated to the U.S. at five being born in Trinidad. Cardi B’s mother is a Trini so you know we will claim her as a Trini. Actor Winston Duke of Black Panther and last year’s horror flick Us originates from Tobago. Actors Nia Long, Alfonso Ribeiro (aka Carlton) and Tatyana Ali of Fresh Prince of Bell Air both have Trini roots. I read somewhere that Will Smith loves traveling to Trinidad. Coincidence?

Now that you got a little backstory on the big impact the Trinidad and Tobago has created, this coincides with a part of how I was raised.

Here is a list of how I was raised from my Trini parents:

Family always comes first.
Music is a must in a household.
Perseverance and resiliency will help you go far in this life.
Thing or ‘Ting’ meant pretty much anything and you of course either understood what it meant or had to understand the meaning.
Nah of nuh basically is directed to you. For example: “Go get the groceries in the car nuh.”
You will learn how to eat spicy food and realize that this really is flaming hot sauce; you will cough at first but as someone of Trini descent… you will get used to it. You will get bragging Trini rights if you can handle the sauce.
Callaloo is the best dish created on earth in my humble opinion, doubles are right behind and of course macaroni pie along with roti (a pita like dish with any filling like curried chicken, chickpeas, and beef).
We always persevere.
Creativity is everything.
Always having a positive outlook on life.

Whether you know about this country or not, as a first generation Canadian born to immigrants originating from Trinidad, and despite the growing violence occurring there, it always fills a big stamp in the way that I grew up. Wherever I travel a Trini is there with pride behind that word. There is strength behind the flag with colours consisting of red, white, and black with a song or two playing in the background, steel pan following the tune and macaroni pie being baked.

This is what helped to mold me.

How To Be a Bald Chick

June 21, 2019June 21, 20194 Comments

For most who know me, or recognizes my appearance, I have no hair.

No I don’t have Cancer or even Alopecia, but was my decision, yes… I am bald by choice. Now this concept can seem like a bewildering thought for many, but I am not the only one. In fact this article is not just geared for just the Baldies who chooses the style, but it is for anyone who yes is struggling with their health, all who identify as a women including queer women that it is not a stigma despite the margins that are directed towards them.

When you talk about beauty standards for women in general, hair is always at the top of the list. If you don’t have a certain lengths, certain people question that. Hair has been linked to health, fertility and a woman’s crown and glory. This is why when a kid, girl or boy, stares in shock when a badass bald lady walks down the street. A lot of the times all they are seeing on TV, the movie screens, books and of course commercials are women who have hair. It’s also one of the reasons why women are so scared of taking the plunge to just cut it all off. Being a bald women brings the automatic judgement of the whys, the whats and the wonderment that goes on in strangers’ minds: oh how bold she is. If I can give advise to anyone who sees a bald women, remember this… she is aware that you are staring her down, and she has to wake up every morning to look in the mirror to try and see value in her appearance. With that being said here is how to be a Bald Chick. Go ahead and take that chance… even if it may be a one time experiment.

Step 1: Go To the Barbershop

So if you are not someone who cuts hair, the first step that you need to do is just go to the barbershop and get the professionals to cut your hair. Yes this is one of the most daunting things a girl can do… walk into a place that is dominated by men, but trust me if you want to take the plunge, it will feel liberating.

Step 2: Shop Shop Shop

This may seem like a minute thing to consider, but once your hair is all gone, your style will change slightly. I am not in any way saying to change how you express yourself if you are a tomboy, girly girl, or whatever expression you desire to be, but there will be a few tweaks that need to be conducted. First thing to consider are accessories. Back when I had a full head of hair, I didn’t need to worry about wearing ear cuffs or earrings, but with no hair that was my forefront of thought. Plus I love jewelry and believe that accessories can make or break an outfit so consider that. Another factor to take in is the makeup you wear. Now this is for anyone who loves makeup in the first place. Your face is not on display, there is no hiding behind your hair as before. So you want to highlight your features like bringing out your eyes, the high cheekbones or enhance you lip shape, well rock that new shade of lipstick!

Step 3: Define Your Style

Now this goes hand in hand with step the las step, but as a baldie you do already stand out. But, if you want to add some pizzazz with your style, look in your closest and take the time to define what it is you like and don’t like. For me I like high heels but sneakers, running shoes and flats are apart of my style. I am a mixture of girly girl styles along with a sporty twist while applying funky patterns to the list. What is your style?

Step 4: Ignore all The Negative/Backhanded Comments

Now this can be tricky and complicated if it is coming from family and friends. You have to see them on an occasional basis. But this will make you a stronger person. To really go against the grain, question the pressure society puts on women and girls from such a young age will provide the strength you never knew you had. Plus when strangers want to comment you are prepared to hold your head held up high with confidence.

Step 5: Buy Clippers

I believe if you are someone who likes to experiment with different forms of creativity, is independent, likes to be frugal with your money, buying a set of clippers won’t hurt. Like any skill, this takes practise, and if you are a baldie, it will help you save money on those regular barber visits. Yes it is tedious. Yes you have to be careful especially when using no guard because you just might bruise yourself, but it’s a great skill to attain. And in an era that is digital, you have the tools and techniques to do the research on how to cut your hair. Plus this blog as a reference!

Step 6: Hold Your Head Up High

Out of all the steps this is the most crucial. There will be mean people who just don’t like you because of how you look. Some may not hire you, promote you because the fact that you are bald. Some may not even date you because they don’t want a bald chick on their arm. Family members just may not get it… a woman’s beauty is supposed to be attached to their hair. Others may suggest that you wear a wig so you can ‘change it up a bit,’ or to just fit in. You may even get others, people who pretend to be your friends, meanwhile they are laughing behind your back when there is any sort of insecurity regarding your lack of hair. You will get the long stares from children (but this is my favourite because I know at that point I affected their life in that moment). Creepy guys or women may just date you only to fetishize you (this so creepy), just because of your unique bald style. Despite all of this, all you need to know, and you do need to know this:

You are what defines your own beauty… not anyone else. That is your greatest power in being a bald, bold badass chick. Remember that.

Part 1: Ways To Rock Short Hair

March 6, 2018Leave a comment

I for one growing up never liked short hair.

The long, down to your ass length of hair was the sort of thing that was praised whether it being from relatives or especially commercials. Those shampoo ads where even the women rocking the lengthy hairstyles didn’t even have that naturally, but the message was all about the viewer wanting it. I had the opposite.

Yes my hair grew, but the longest I’ve had my hair was shoulder length and with it being fine, the chemicals in the relaxer (which changes the texture of your hair) did not help. The constant stress over the breakage within my hair was a constant battle and a vicious cycle for my self esteem. However I’ve always reverted back to shorter hairstyles, even all throughout high-school up until now and discovered that the only reason why I wanted (or fantasized) about the long hair is because that was the message within the media like commercials, t.v. shows, movies and magazines. They all without saying a word told a story where equating to the fact that long hair for women equaled the only form of beauty and femininity.

How many women do you know that’s scared to even cut an inch of their hair let alone buzz it off? With experience I can name almost all that have complimented my hair ( or lack thereof). At times it comes off as a backhanded compliment… but I understand where they are coming from. But if you are like me and loves to express your creativity through your hair by cutting it all off… I say go for it. Life’s too damn short to care what other people think. This long introduction was needed in explanation to my story and my truth. I have a few ways to show you how to rock a short hairstyle.

1. The Purple Bob (Box Braids)