I would never think that I would be at this point in my life where I was done with social media. Checking Instagram on a daily basis was like a ritual for me… I had to keep up to date. With who?

People.

It is cool to catch up and see what your friends, family, coworkers and acquaintances are doing, but this can get destructive… on so many levels.

Many who really know me are aware of my educational background. Having been both a Journalism and Public Relations Graduate… my professors could not stress the importance of having a presence of social media… we as students were ingrained with creating accounts. Yes I’ve already had Facebook (which a huge majority of people do) , but when your professor has a class on how to create a twitter account becomes the relevance, you realize that social media is a big business drawing in the consumers. This business knows how to struck a chord with people due to the personable factor.

Remember business always comes first.

I feel like owning a social media account is like being in a relationship. The first couple of months are really great, you can’t get enough. You have to be post something on a regular basis, while always needing to see how others are doing. Life’s good, you feel good, there’s almost a rush of euphoria that you experience from getting your first 40 likes on Facebook. There’s a weird feeling that you’ve accomplished something in life. Beyonce would understand how those likes felt. But… this starts to change. How do you get more of that? How do you get more likes? This becomes a competition. Sort of like if you don’t have the etiquette to obtain the likes, the views and enough comments, the attention goes elsewhere? Who was giving you that attention anyway? All of that talk about the really personal matters that are being posted on Facebook statuses, Twitter accounts along with Instagram makes me question if this is therapeutic… or just another way to get likes? This is a rhetorical question.

There’s also a need to compete with others including family, those same coworkers and worst, some of you ‘best friends’. Jealousy is a bitch, it cuts to the core, is selfish as fuck, and does not care who it hurts, but trust me it does hurt. At the same time, everyone is trying to keep up with the cookie cutter appearance… like as if life is good. Posting about that trip you embarked on can create FOMO (fear of missing out) on the people that are in your circle of close friends. Or if a classmate (pretty much a stranger) posts about their engagement… you start to compare yourself. Thoughts run in your mind like why aren’t you at the same level as them. Are you pretty enough, skinny enough, thick enough, is your skin enough… the insecurity rises. You feel like you’re not doing your part… it has to be your fault. Almost sounds like a toxic relationship.

You start to remember why you created these accounts in the first place. Oh the good memories. Trust me there are great aspects to social media. For instance, I have family all over in countries like the States, England, and of course the small island of Trinidad and Tobago, but then there’s also other platforms that are less stalkerish. It’s great catching up with them. Plus I have this blog, so Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest have been great platforms to get my writing out there for my introverted ass. With that being said, this was all I was focusing on… my blog. I grew more and more less interested with people especially classmates that I have not seen in 14 years and their life… I just did not fucking care. People love posting their personal business as well, it was never my thing. There’s a weird need of approval, trust me I’ve been there in many other ways. I was growing more agitated when a friend would be talking shit about some other girl but yet, there they were, posting a selfie like they are in harmony and life is good. I grew tired with keeping up with appearances. I guess that was what it was—-I was growing up.

Another aspect to point out is that you really know who your friends are when removing ‘social’ apps. With less superficiality removes the fake and toxic people out of your life. Having ‘friends’ on these platforms is comparing it to Monopoly money. When you get rid of the money, you will see who was real and who wasn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, if you have social media, I’m not judging you at all. I still have Youtube and WordPress which are forms of social media, but it’s less invasive like other ones mentioned. However for me, I had to do this, detox myself from what once brought me joy. This was my way of growing up and realizing that you do grow apart from whom were once your best pals. It happens for many and yes something did happen for me on a personal level, but I’m not telling you!

Me growing up also meant that I was believing in my worth while not depending on the likes, loves, comments, even the amount of followers that I had. Removing myself from what can turn out more destructive. The epiphany of self love creates a sense of not being treated like second class. There are those who are right now in that toxic relationship where yes… they get the jewelry, the clothes… etc from their significant other… misconstruing it with being spoiled. Nope. I may be no expert myself on this topic but if they are belittling you in any way…that is not being spoiled. It’s superficial… just like those likes, comments and followers on social media. With superficiality, it creates a feeling of emptiness along being stagnant. It is those hard times that you go through when you realize who had your back. So I removed pretty much most of the social media platforms to not just sit there in the background, watching other’s pretentious forms of the good life.

When I knew my worth… I knew that what people thought about me was none of my damn business. Keep the mystery alive.

I’d like to keep it that way.