I love my hair. From the little curly ringlets to the volume of the kinks… it screams versatility. From the extensions that transforms you eyes turning into boxed braids to numerous afro puffs that stands taller than the rest, there’s a reason why you stand out in the crowd without saying a word. Did I mention that I can flat iron it? Only when the cooler weather comes due to the humidity in the air. But constant heat is a no no in the natural hair world for good reasons (dryness).

You see…the topic of natural hair has always resonated with me. I will have to admit something that some may or may not know.  Growing up I hated my hair. The texture was all too wrong. The Barbie dolls, including the black ones did not have hair like mine. Let’s not mention the shampoo commercials. All of the models flashed their horse-like tresses in the t.v. and I envied this.Why did it grow out differently?   Why did I not have the long, bone straight hair like the others?  Why didn’t I have the good hair? Girls in my school were blessed with this. Magazines praised that texture of hair (even some black hair magazines), but I hardly saw the kinky curly fro on any of these magazines, and if so… these women were often radical. Relaxing your hair, which is chemically straightening the texture of your hair, was considered ideal, almost healthy to wear this style. Nothing wrong with a good relaxer, but through the years… it was truly painful to go through. My hair would fall out constantly due to my hair being fine; I can go on about the struggle being real but you get the point. Then there was a term that struck close, a very personal term:

Nappy.

It strikes me like a knife. Cold. Sore. Bitter and downright depressing. That other n-word is not an uplifting word to say the least. When people describe my hair and many others’ with the word nappy there is no boost of confidence. This word screams suppression with a fist and I plan to break it down with my midas touch. Cross that word out completely out of your head.

One of the first music artists that I noticed growing up had showed appreciation for their natural hair was Melanie Brown (aka Spice Girls: Scary Spice) which is also another reason why she was my favourite out the five in the girl group. She was brass, confident and gave no shit what anyone thought about her and she iconically rocked her two large bantu knots effortlessly. Another artist who has also rocker her hair and made it huge in mainstream music (and also released one of my favourite albums and critically acclaimed to date)… Lauryn Hill. Those dreadlocks gave life in a world that does not have high standards for that hairstyle. But Miss Hill and Oscar award winner Whoopi Goldberg rises above the occasion.

As a grew up, my views started to change. Why did I hate my hair? I have one word and three syllables: media.

The media has a lot to do with your life. From the decisions you make when buying groceries to what makeup you buy and of course what hair products to buy to the level of social status… the media can sway your decision on just about anything. You know the term words cut deeper than a knife… well. It affects the music you buy and who to vote for in an election. There’s the good, the bad and the ugly. Being a woman of colour has it’s ugly side effects when coming to the media. Look at eight years ago when Barack Obama was running for president… who did they also attack? Michelle Obama with a radical/militant outfit along with of course (an Angela Davis reference) dawning an afro. Need I say more?

Music was and always will be a saviour for me. It saved the life of my hair and also had me changing my question from why I hate my hair to why I love it. Before I answer this will state a few things here. You may not look like my or have the same texture of hair as I do but I will let you embed this thought in your head:

When someone brings your self-esteem down it hurts.

This is just like when someone calls another fat, ugly, stupid, a faggot, dike, skinny, nappy-headed or the other n-word, and any other offensive word… it hurts. There is pain with these words. I don’t care what anyone says. Your outlook on everything with these words matter. You can change it around. Why does my hair grow out differently? It’s a crown. I don’t have to wear a hat to hide this gem. It glows brightly like a halo beaming for others to see. Why did I not have the long, bone straight hair like the others? Oh the versatility! From braids, bantu knots, afro puffs, a buzzed cut to tapered cuts and even wigs. I can change my hair on a daily basis the way I change my outfits. The possibilities are endless!  Yes… I do have the good hair. It’s soft,silky, fluffy and when it’s washed it shrinks (which I dread) but the tight curls are on fleek.

Yes I do love my hair. No media platform, or any foolish fashion designer claiming a hairstyle (bantu knots) will make my hair a fad. Nope not ever.