Where do I start?

I guess that’s the struggle when I haven’t written a blog post in almost 10 months. There’s a sense of urgency to write but yet a hesitation to compose anything because the sense and worry that you (or me in particular) have nothing meaningful to even put in words. It’s like for me, I felt as though my hesitation was due in part that I needed to write something not only worthwhile, but conduct some Picasso-like poetic justice of a blog post.

Now when you look at the title above, Finding My Way, some of you (or if anyone), are probably thinking that this particular post is about me being lost, having some sort of crisis (I will be turning 30 soon), or a life changing event has occurred… it hasn’t. What has happened is: panic.

Not the type of panicking where anxiety rushes through your rapid heart beat or cold sweat reaping through your pores. Nope. This is a panic where uncertainty of life is prevalent. But this excites me. I know conflicting as it may sound, I am not worried about not knowing the answers, but I am, finding my way.

For me, as I have written numerous times, writing is a big part of who I am whether it pays or does not. And for 10 months, I’ve been pondering and pondering why I was not posting anything on my blog for that span of time.

The truth is, I did not have anything to talk about.

As the time went by, it got harder to think of anything to write. I was almost about to quit this blog to be quite frank. But every time I was going to come up with a goodbye article, I couldn’t find the words. It was more than just a writer’s block because I was writing other formats that did not really appeal to me, but a rush of a feeling of unfinished business.

The sole purpose of this blog was for me to escape into a hobby that has been a healthy coping mechanism on my darkest days up until the brightest. It was and still is the beginning middle and end, the highs and lows that life itself brings. Initially this blog was supposed to be about my love for fashion but in my words with an editorial aspect to the article I learned in school, but here I am, almost three years later, on what is the 55th blog post, talking about finding my way. Go figure.  From what felt like the nightmare at times not finding the right words to type on the screen, this is also what needed to happen in order to free my mind, while knowing that my heart, soul and being missed this blog and my love of this sort of writing. This right here is my return.

So for those who have asked me in the recent how my writing is, I will tell you simply, it’s going… meaning that it is never over for me. I am 28, almost about to turn 29, almost about to head into a new decade, but smart enough to know that I am still young. Young enough to know that there is room for improvement. More room for self expression within any form of writing that I conduct. More room for me to not be too hard on myself and sometimes, a good friend of mine has told me, to just go with the flow.

That’s the beauty in creativity and… ambiguity of life.

Let’s welcome more of that.

I know I will be.